Sometimes we as singles have this perfect picture image in our minds of how we believe or want our future spouse to be. Ladies, it could be a six foot, muscular built, six pack havin’ man with a pretty decent amount of money, and nice car. Men, it could be a nice attractive, caramel skin woman, with long dark hair, and whatever else you may have dreamt of. In addition, maybe there are certain expectations that you are believing God for. For example, maybe they have to be in a certain pay bracket, or other high expectations. I believe that yes, it is important to have standards and yes you shouldn’t settle, and yes there are deal breakers. The Bible also talks about being unequally yoked. (2 Corinthians 6:14) Christians can also be unequally yoked and have different directions that God is taking them in their lives. It is important to see what God says about your relationship. Pray and ask him what direction you should take before going to the alter. 

Have you stopped to think that what if the person that God brings you, is not the ideal image that you had in your mind? Let’s take singing for example: What if you are expecting Jennifer Hudson, but you get someone that sings ok, and can hit a few occasional high notes. Everyone knows that Jennifer Hudson sings beautifully, but you may not get that ideal Jennifer Hudson package. You might get something else. The person that you do get will be perfect for you. 

The Singing analogy may have gone over your head but let me explain further. The person God has for you, is not going to be perfect. You may have a list of your ideal spouse, but the person God has for you, may not meet every criteria on that list. It is important to go to God and ask him if this is the right relationship for you. Also, keep in mind that you cannot change that person to meet the criteria on your list. You cannot mold them into the ideal person that you have in your head. 

That person may have certain things that you don’t like or agree with and depending on what God tells you and what his word says will determine how you handle that relationship. It will determine whether you stay in the relationship or move on. If you are dating and you truly heard from God that they are your future spouse, let God change them. You cannot change them. You just pray for them. You can make a person feel miserable and like they don’t measure up to your standards because you’re constantly trying to make them into your idea of a perfect spouse. That is a horrible way to spend your life. You are over here trying to change them, and they are trying to conform to how you want them to be. That is a horrible way to spend your life. You have to use what God blessed you with. Use what God gave you. It’s like trying to fit a square peg in a round hole. It just won’t fit. You could drive that person away and they won’t want to marry you, even if they were sent from God. 

You have to accept them and their flaws. You will never find a perfect spouse. Marriage is two imperfect people coming together for God’s glory. If you’re constantly picking them apart, they will not want to be with you. You won’t be happy because you see everything wrong with and they won’t be happy because that’s not how God created them to be. It’s so important to pray and ask God if this is the right relationship for you two to be in. If you received confirmation that this is the right relationship, then you need to use what God has given you and remember no one is perfect. We are all flawed.